Posts Tagged ‘Tourette’s’

For those of you that don’t know me personally, I think it would be safe to say you can consider yourself lucky. Don’t get me wrong, I work rather hard at being a nice guy. Yep that’s right I work at it. It’s a daily struggle, sadly. It’s not really in all things, it’s just my mouth.

That’s the main reason I write instead of speaking in public Improv forums. However much it may look otherwise, I am not that comfortable in front of people. I tend to get rather nervous actually.

For some strange reason when I get nervous I tend to create really bad analogies. Not just bad as in people are left scratching their heads wondering what the heck I am talking about. I‘m talking about horrible, tacky… some might even say somewhat socially unacceptable comments to the most inappropriate people. It’s actually a nervous tick of mine, a mild turrets syndrome if you will.Writing gives me voice, and I in turn hammer out my words here upon my digital Anvil, Bruno Jr.

A great example of this happens to be what occurred at the wine bar last night.My Girlfriend and I went out with two other couples to Mercy, a wine bar in Addison. Quick comment about the place… The food was very good, the wine was excellent, the service was horrendous, and perhaps this is my old age talking but the place was a bit too loud for my dinning tastes. All of that aside, the company was exceptional. To Kathy, Lisa, Steven, and Harvey thanks for a great night. Most of all Thanks to you Chupi (This is one of those cutesy little pet names for my sweetheart).

So back to how I proved myself to have turrets yet again.The conversation was lively as people were discussing how Chupi came to be the group leader of the playful events team of the church we all attend. When Steven found out that she had only been attending the church for 3 months before becoming the leader of a volunteer team he was dumbfounded.

As any good boyfriend would do, I totally misinterpreted what I should do and charged forward in quixotic duty to defend my Lady’s Honor.

Maybe it was the Shiraz, Maybe it was me not being the center of attention, Perhaps it was even a horrible choice of words as I exclaimed my pride in her. Looking back it’s hard to tell.

I looked Steven deep in the eyes and said boldly,” Steven, You don’t know this woman she is AMAZING!!! She can built bridges out of used Tam…. “It was at that moment I realized I was having one of my infamous Turrets moments and I caught myself… and stammered out an apology.

Steven caught it quickly with shock in his eyes “You were going to say used Tampons”. I said my earnest apologies quickly and said it was a mixture of the wine and slave labor I had done before coming out tonight; but I reiterated how proud of her I was of her even with my screwy analogy. My Chupi Maus can do miraculous things, true she has Napoleonic tactics, but make no mistake about it she gets things done.

Perhaps I have kissed Eris one too many times, and forever my breath will smell of golden apples. Maybe I just have this psychological nervous tic. I’d rather believe that, than to think I would sacrifice my girlfriend’s self respect in order to acquire a few chuckles. I am thankful I caught myself this time; I hope this acute turrets is finally going away.